Assured Psychology | Calgary, Alberta

A Flame Beneath a Dark Bramble

A flame beneath a dark bramble

Blog entry by Cody Harper MSW RSW

The moment that you were born, you were good enough.

Otherwise, you wouldn’t have cried. You would have been completely silent. But you did cry out, and as you cried, you wisely insisted on your inherent right to exist and to have your needs met.

Thus, any belief to the contrary that you hold about yourself right now was not present at your birth. This nonsense—that you are not good enough, or that you don’t have the right to exist, or that your needs are not important—was put there afterwards; first by someone else and then later, by yourself. This nonsense is not you, not the real you. It is entangling and overshadowing the real you, obscuring the truth.

A flame beneath a dark bramble

When someone asks me, “How do I love myself again?” I say to them:

You already do. You always have, ever since you were born. You just can’t see that right now. The truth of you is obscured by this nonsense, like a flame beneath a dark bramble. A flame that could burn away these lies if given the chance. You have always inherently loved yourself. Your self-compassion isn’t something that you have lost and must now find again. It has been with you since the moment you were born and it is with you right now.

Article by: Cody Harper

Cody Harper
Cody is a therapist and social worker working out of Calgary and Cochrane, Alberta, Canada. He believes that beyond the education, the training, or the credentials that a counsellor may have, the most effective means of growth and positive change is shared human connection and a strong alliance with the client.