What is Healthy Masculinity?

Blog entry by Cody Harper MSW, RSW

• Show tenderness and vulnerability as well as strength.
• Show modesty and humility as well as confidence.
• Express himself openly and honestly without resorting to violence.
• Strive to acknowledge and understand his emotions rather than pretending that they do not exist.
• Utilize his understanding of his emotions so as to not allow those emotions to rule over him.
• Show leadership and courage in ways that lift up those around him, not just himself.
• Support the less fortunate while also empowering them and giving them the means to support themselves.
• Pursue realistic health and fitness goals while also acknowledging his limits.
• Know when to rest and when to reward himself.
• Accept his body and the bodies of other men, regardless of their size, shape, weight, or muscle mass.
• Foster resilience in the face of hardship, not only in himself but in others.
• Strive for excellence while also accepting his failures with grace, choosing to view those failures as valuable lessons.
• Develop skills and competence in pursuits that benefit both himself and others.
• Foster the instinct to create and preserve, rather than to destroy or conquer.
• Maintain relationships with other men that are not based solely on competition but also compassion and trust.
• Experience and enjoy touch and affection with other men.
• Show compassion towards other men who are crying, rather than encouraging those men to hide their tears.
• Hold himself and other men accountable for their transgressions, particularly those that marginalize or harm others.
• Cultivate warm and respectful relationships with others who do not identify as men, and view all people as deserving of respect regardless of sex or gender.
• Be comfortable with his own sexuality, whatever that may be, as well as with the sexuality of those around him.
• Regard his romantic partners as individuals, not as a marker of his status.
• Recognize the fluidity of sexuality and gender as having no baring whatsoever on his own masculinity.
• Recognize traditional masculinity as a social construct, one that is flexible and often fallible.