You’re lying in bed, you’ve done all your bedtime routines, the lights are off, and you close your eyes. Suddenly, your brain is flooded with unwanted thoughts. Whether it’s fear, sadness, or unresolved anger, these emotions seem to show up every time you try to fall asleep.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many of us—myself included—deal with this problem every night. In the past decade, much of the blame for insomnia seems to have been placed on blue light and our smartphone screens, but insomnia is far more complex than that. Other factors, such as medical conditions or environmental stressors, can contribute as well. But recent studies have shown that it’s the habit of avoiding these negative emotions and thoughts during the day that may also be ruining our sleep (Meneo, 2024).
Work and daily routines provide a convenient distraction, not to mention all the various digital distractions we have at our fingertips. But when we try to fall asleep, those distractions are gone. Plus, the mental tiredness we’ve built up throughout the day will make these thoughts even harder to ignore.
So, rather than avoiding these thoughts, let’s try a different strategy.
1. What is The Worry Hour?
The Worry Hour is a way to schedule time in your day to process all the thoughts, feelings, and questions that you’ve been avoiding. It doesn’t have to be a full hour—even 10 or 15 minutes will do. The idea is to give yourself time to acknowledge your worries, so they don’t need to pop up later that night when you’re tired and less able to handle them.
At a designated time, take a note pad and write down answers to questions like:
- What is making me angry?
- What is making me sad?
- What is making me scared?
- What am I feeling uncertain about?
- What am I avoiding right now?
- What is out of my control that I need to accept?
- What should I focus on?
- Who has hurt me?
- Who do I need to forgive, including myself?
- What regrets am I holding onto?
- What needs to change?
These are the kinds of thoughts that often come up when we’re trying to fall asleep, once all the distractions are gone and it’s harder to block them out. The Worry Hour gives you a chance to address these thoughts earlier, before they take over your quiet time.
2. What to Keep In Mind During the Worry Hour
The purpose of this exercise is not to find solutions to these issues. It’s about noticing and acknowledging your thoughts and feelings with non-judgment and self-compassion. If solutions do come up as a result of the process, that’s great, but this should not be the goal of the exercise.
It’s similar to talking to a friend or loved one about your feelings. Most of the time, we’re not asking that loved one to solve our problems; we just need a sympathetic ear. Also, there might be times in your life when finding that sympathetic ear will not be possible or even safe. The Worry Hour allows you to do this work for yourself.
Also, this exercise should never be an attempt to invent things to worry about either. It is not an exercise in rumination where you spiral into anxiety or self-judgment. It is about kindly acknowledging what you are experiencing, rather than pushing it to the side.
3.Why Should We Schedule Time for Worry?
Scheduling time for worry helps your brain recognize that there’s a specific time to address difficult thoughts, which reduces the chances of them intruding at night. By dedicating time to your worries, you’re able to process them more effectively rather than suppressing them, which can often make them stronger (Wegner, 1987). In addition, creating a regular time to focus on your worries—sometimes called “worry postponement” (Wells, 2009)—has been shown to decrease how often and how strongly these thoughts will affect you.
When you set aside time to deal with your worries, you’re teaching your brain that there’s a right time for those worries, which can help prevent them from intruding when you’re trying to relax or sleep, and can potentially make those worries feel less intense.
4. Making The Worry Hour Part of Your Day
The Worry Hour is most effective when you make it a regular part of your daily routine, ideally at the same time each day. Your brain will gradually start to understand that nighttime isn’t the time for these thoughts, and this habit will slowly begin to align with your natural sleep cycle. This can potentially help lead to calmer nights and better sleep.
If setting a daily routine feels like too much, even doing The Worry Hour occasionally or when you feel the most stressed can still help.
Feel free to adapt this practice to your own needs. Adding your own questions or concerns will make it more meaningful and relevant to your life. The aim is to bring those lingering thoughts into the open in a safe, structured way, so they don’t quietly build up and overwhelm you later.
5. Takeaways
- Create space for your worries: Setting aside a time each day to address thoughts and emotions you may have been avoiding can help prevent them from overwhelming you later, when you’re trying to sleep.
- Use intentional reflection: Asking yourself meaningful questions about unresolved feelings provides clarity and can help you process what you’ve been carrying with you.
- Incorporate into your daily rhythm: Making it a consistent practice helps to train your brain to process these worries at a set time, rather than during moments when you want to relax or sleep.
This article was created by Cody Harper is a Masters of Social Work and Registered Social Worker, and a therapist with Assured Psychology. He is trained in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Compassionate Inquiry, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Existential Therapy, and works with individuals on life satisfaction, anxiety/depression, men’s issues, grief, addiction and trauma.
This article was created by Daniel McMillan, M.Ed., R. Psych. with the help of Chat GBT. Daniel McMillan is a psychologist and director of Assured Psychology based in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. He is also author of the children’s book Badger and Turtle Face the Storm. Daniel hopes to help as many people as possible to live a meaningful and fulfilling life.
