Making use of your psychology toolbox
When the sun shines, I wear sunglasses.
When the rain drops, I hold up an umbrella.
When my heart aches, I seek out what is called…a psychology toolbox.
From the time you were born until you woke up this morning, could you identify one year where nothing “bad” happened? How about 6 months? One month? 2 weeks?
Our lives are full of unavoidable barriers. We experience being ignored, misunderstood, or treated unfairly. We experience illness, injury, the loss of a job or a loved one, or even the loss of our childhood dreams. Everyone carries with the the burdens of life in one way or another.
a simple exercise
Adversities in life are like the air, as long as we breathe, we have them. So what can we do about them? Here is a simple exercise we can do together.
Task One
Please solve the follow equation and write down how much time it took you:
2345 + 9876
Task Two
How did you feel after you finished reading Task Two?
what tools have you been using?
Of course, life is never as simple as this exercise, but would you agree that the power of “changing your habitual ways of doing things” bears the same logic?
Considering some of your adversities growing up and as an adult, ask yourself:
What kind of coping tools have I been using?
Many people may find out that the tools they often use include:
- Blaming yourself
- Blaming others
- Burying your hand in the sand
- Avoiding feelings
- Thinking that things should be different from what they are
- Waiting for others to change first
You may find out that your family, friends, colleagues, etc. use such tools as well. Sometimes we know that these tools are not that useful, causing low moods, self doubt, interpersonal conflicts, and feeling stuck, but we stick to them as we are not sure where our “calculators” are yet.
making use of your psychology toolbox with Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy is here to help you get your life’s “problems” done more easily by using a “psychology calculator”, with which you may learn:
- How to access your pain and suffering to gain a deeper understanding of them
- How to relate to your stressful thoughts and unwanted emotions instead of running away from them
- How to accept your current situation and at the same time, find a way to change it
- How to be fair, kind, and compassionate with yourself and others
Learning how to use these psychology tools may take a while. Difficulties may come up as we progress.
The question is, are you willing to give the “calculator” a try?
